


Unconventional Swim Instructor

by bagog



Series: New Skill Set [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Fatherhood, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:10:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3941449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagog/pseuds/bagog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard is left home alone to babysit Shaun for the first time in a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unconventional Swim Instructor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Damnenginegnomes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damnenginegnomes/gifts).



> I'm trying to get around to thanking some people who have left inspiring, wonderful comments on my pathetic little fluff pieces. So here's a start to that then!
> 
> Thanks, Damnenginegnomes! Your comments always mean a lot to me, and I'm grateful you actually have an account now so I can gift this work properly!
> 
> This piece follows along after An Expert on Bad Dreams, because I now really like writing about this Shepard and Kaidan and their son Shaun. I hope you'll enjoy it?

“Papa, are you coming?”

Shepard still got lost in the closet in their Citadel apartment; even after years of civilian life, the size of it was still about what Shepard expected out of any liberally sized bedroom. And, while most of the shoes inside belonged to him, _most_ of the clothes belonged to Kaidan: hangers full of nice jeans, button down shirts, a tux or two, the empty hanger where Kaidan would replace his suit when he got back from his Council meeting later tonight.

Shepard just had to hold out till then.

“Papa? _”_

“You can hop in without me, Shaun.” Shepard yelled out the closet door.

“…okay…” came a dejected reply. Shepard could picture his son moping at the edge of the hot tub in the bathroom. He sighed.

“Actually, wait for me, okay? I’ll be right in!” He got back to rummaging through the closet.

“Okay!”  That was maybe the most enthusiasm Shaun had shown all evening. Shaun had always been a little freaked out by the tub, something about the way the light shone up on the ceiling. Kaidan and Shepard also got paranoid about having a small boy that close to that much water…

He was old enough now to handle a dip in the tub by himself. But Shepard realized for the first time that he wasn’t asking Shaun to wait for him to _protect_ him. It was so he could see the look on his face when they got in together. Maybe that’s why Shaun was waiting, too.

He was Papa, after all. Even without Kaidan here—his easy laugh, the way he could make Shaun fascinated in a brick just with the tone of his voice—Shepard was still Papa.

So he dug through the drawers: pressed t-shirts, the work-a-day jeans, the underwear drawer—his on the left, Kaidan’s on the right. A drawer for cufflinks. Cufflinks! He and Kaidan used to be all about ‘nothing but the clothes on my back.’ They used to be Alliance-men, lifers. Now they had a whole drawer just for cufflinks, and a son that was old enough to bathe in a huge tub all by himself.

Shepard sighed, got dressed, and stepped back out into the bedroom. Shaun was squatting down at the edge of the tub dressed in bright red swimming trunks, flicking impatiently at the frothing water. He hopped up when Shepard walked into the bathroom.

“Aren’t those _Daddy’s_ swim trunks?” he asked as Shepard tightened the draw cord around his waist. And they were Kaidan’s swim trunks. He liked wearing Kaidan’s things, it felt like a progress bar of sorts. After the various periods being emaciated in recovery and overweight through his therapy over the years: Shepard was the same size as Kaidan again, and as trim as ever. Still, the trunks were a little looser around the waist than he would’ve liked. They were blue. Go figure.

“Yeah, he won’t mind though. I don’t have any swim trunks.” Shepard ruffled Shaun’s hair.

“But you and Daddy are in the hot tub all the time, what do _you_ wear?”

Having a son had taught Shepard all about expecting totally logical questions no one else would ask. Unfortunately, he still hadn’t learned Kaidan’s graceful art of diffusing such questions. Instead:

“…so the water nice and toasty?”

Shaun was happy to leave his question unanswered and Shepard stepped into the tub. The first step always tweaked his hip. Seeing his Papa wince always got Shaun worried, so at the last minute Shepard managed to transform his groan into his best approximation of a ‘delighted giggle’.

“I’m coming in!” hot water splashed up and over Shepard’s head as Shaun cannonballed into the tub. “It’s really hot!” Shaun giggled when he broke the surface, spitting a jet of water.

It was. Really hot. Perfect. Shepard eased himself into the corner and concentrated on the warmth sinking into his hip, breaking up the tension that had been growing there chasing Shaun up and down the stairs.

“Look, this is the elementary backstroke!” Shaun called out. Except it wasn’t. It was a normal backstroke. But Shepard didn’t say anything about it, instead laughing at how much space Shaun had to flail his limbs in the tub. He was too small to really be able to get the right rotation to maximize the stroke. Still, it was clear he’d been watching Kaidan’s technique, the same determined look on his face, the same little hesitation in his kicks. He tended to take after Kaidan in most things.

“Looking good, son! Won’t be long before you’re a match for your Daddy!”

“You think so?” Shaun stopped swimming immediately, chin on the waterline when he stood flat-footed.

“Definitely,” Shepard closed his eyes, twisted his back until he felt his muscles loosen, hoping to feel less… like an old dad.

He opened his eyes just in time to see Shaun clambering over the edge of the tub and turning around with a wide smile on his face.

“Shaun, don’t’—“ There was a terrific splash when Shaun cannonballed back in. Water went everywhere. He was giggling as he emerged, but the look on Shepard’s face turned his expression puppy-dog apologetic instantly. “Just… take it easy, okay?” It sounded a little more scolding than Shepard intended. “It’s a hot tub, you don’t jump around in it… you just… sit.”

He smiled broadly trying to shine the frown off Shaun’s face. Shaun practically tip-toed to a seat and sat down. Letting his feet float up in the churning water. Shepard’s eyes were heavy, but he couldn’t think about closing them now: not with Shaun sitting across from him looking like that. He was wracking his brain trying to imagine what Kaidan would do.

“So, Salix isn’t coming over to babysit tonight?” Shaun said after an awkward pause, mouth just about level with the water. She was the usual babysitter. Typically, when Kaidan’s meetings ran late into the evening, Salix would bring her son Reega over and the two boys would play. It started years ago, someone to help Shepard with the cooking and the household stuff while he was recovering.

“Nope. She and Reega had something else going on tonight.”

“Oh.” Shaun said quietly.

“What, you worried your Papa can’t handle one evening all by himself?” Shepard teased, sitting up in the water. Shaun looked aghast.

“N-no! I didn’t mean that Papa, I’m sorry!” Too sensitive, another trait he picked up from Kaidan. And Shepard loved him for it. Both of them.

“Hey now, hey!” He scooted across the tub as Shaun’s eyes got glossy. Way too sensitive. Or maybe just sensitive when it came to Shepard. “I’m sorry, it was wrong of me to say that. Okay? I was wrong to say that.” Shepard scooped the boy into his arms, sat him down on his lap. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“’sokay.” He sniffled, “Sorry.”

The father and son sat like that for a while, Shepard’s eyes fighting his natural inclination to doze off, Shaun sitting like a boy-shaped stone in Shepard’s lap. He used to go nuts from happiness when Shepard picked him up. Lately he’d been trying to hold Shaun more, but he was getting old enough where he’d rather not be picked up. Or that’s what Kaidan said, anyway. Shepard sort of felt it was more his son’s natural suspicion at the change in the previous status quo.

That’s one trait he picked up from Shepard.

His Papa holding him had been rare back then: atrophied arms not capable of holding him for too long. But it was more than that, and it wasn’t that Shepard was afraid of the responsibility. Shaun loved Kaidan and Kaidan made it look so easy. Shepard loved watching Kaidan and Shaun together.

“Hey,” Shepard kissed Shaun’s head and the boy’s mouth crinkled into a smiling pout, “You know you’re the most important thing in the world to me, right?” And it was true. That was why it was so easy to hand him off to Kaidan. He’d already entrusted his husband with everything else important in his life. And Shaun was too important to be left alone with Shepard. “I love you more than anything.”

“I know.” Shaun rolled his eyes like Kaidan did, his voice reedy with a child’s smug embarassment. Shepard thought maybe he’d grow up fine as long as he never turned away a compliment like Kaidan did. Like Shepard did.

“I know you miss Reega and Salix,” Shepard tried to straighten his back, but the way Shaun was leaning back into him made him stay where he was. “But do you remember back when I used to take care of you all the time?”

“No…” Shaun’s thick eyebrows set over his eyes in disbelief.

“When you were littler... umm… _little_ , you and me used to be a matched set. Your Dad was away a lot on Council business before his appointment, so I would cook for you and we’d play and,” he splashed some water in the boy’s face and held him as he turned into a giggling mass, “I’m the one who took you to the pool with me.”

“Nuh-uh! I always go to the pool with Daddy!”

“Well, you do now. But when you were real tiny, you used to come to my physical therapy appointments.” It wasn’t long after they’d started their new family, and Shepard was still in a PT pool twice a month. The doctors _and_ Kaidan had thought it would be a good experience: have some bonding time with his son while he tried to will his muscles back to combat readiness. Normally the exercises could be performed in a null-gravity field—better for the body—but Shepard’s problem wasn’t his body, and the null-gravity chamber felt too much like a waking nightmare. Another reason to have his son at the pool: his future right there in the water with him. “I would do my exercises, then we’d play around in the pool. I taught you how to float on your back.”

“Oh! What about the Dead Man’s float!” He threw his arms forward, trying to slip limp into the water through Shepard’s hands, giggling and bouncing back on Shepard’s knee when he realized his dad wasn’t loosening his grip.

Shepard’s shoulders squared off, a tremble running down his gun hand. “No… no, I didn’t umm… I didn’t teach you that one.”

“Then did you have the Big Accident?” The minute it came out of his mouth, Shaun’s eyes got wide and he tensed up in Shepard’s arms. ‘Big Accident’ is what Shaun always called it. Kaidan didn’t really know how to explain it to a child so young when it happened. It was a topic of conversation _strictly_ off limits in their household. It was really the only time Shepard had ever seen Kaidan be stern with Shaun.

“Yeah… that was before your Papa got called back into active Spectre duties…” He tried to smile, found he just couldn’t, even with Shaun looking up at him like he thought his Papa was going to snap in two. “It’s hard for me to talk about. But your Papa was on a special mission when he had…” Shaun wouldn’t understand the term. Maybe he had a right to hear it, at least. But saying it would mean explaining it. Explaining it would mean reliving it. “…the Big Accident.”

“I’m really sorry I said anything.” Barely a whisper, hands drawn into his chest.

“No, it’s okay buddy. Really, it’s fine. It’s so hard to talk about because it made it harder to take care of you! I didn’t get to spend as much time with you as I wanted to.” He found a smile in him after all, a real one, and it softened the wide-eyed-mini-Kaidan-worry on his son’s face. “…and I’m sorry about that.”

“’sokay’” the boy muttered when Shepard pressed an exaggerated kiss into his cheek right where the dimple was starting to form. They were quiet for a few minutes. Shepard was so used to Kaidan closing out the conversation, whether it was the two of them or the three. Shaun had picked up Shepard’s style: ask a lot of questions, then go.

Maybe little boys were just like that naturally. Shepard had no idea.

“Well, why don’t you get in your jammies and we can hang out downstairs a little bit before bed, hm?” Shepard bounced Shaun off his knee and eased himself down onto his knees in the water so he could look the boy in his face.

“Okay! Just sitting is kinda boring.”

“This tub? Boring!” Shepard crowed.

“Yeah,” he squirmed when Shepard tried to tickle him under the water, but didn’t swim away either, “Boring! I heard Daddy tell you it was his favorite room in the house once, but it’s just sitting around!”

A little heat rushed to Shepard’s face. The night Shaun overheard that conversation it had certainly been much _more_ than just sitting around…

“You appreciate it more when you get older.”

“How old?”

“Alright, buddy, you trying to make your Papa feel like an old man?” Shepard laughed, “Let’s go.” he sat up on the edge of the tub and pulled his towel down to start drying off his face. Shaun was standing over the tub, sluicing the water off him with a cupped hand—just like Kaidan: used to military showers and tiny towels. Shaun’s towel was enormous: bigger than he was. And for a minute Shepard wasn’t sure if he should sluice the water off himself too to encourage the habit, or throw the boy back in the water and tell him to dry off like a civilian. He didn’t honestly know what Kaidan would do.

Not long after, Shepard had put on his black hoodie, found a pair of Kaidan’s yoga pants—long as he was borrowing his husband’s clothes already—and had settled onto the couch with Shaun.

“Let’s watch the new episode of _Destiny and the Sword_!” Shaun said, navigating the vidscreen controls with frankly alarming proficiency.

“Won’t Daddy be sad you watched the new episode without him?”

Shaun froze. “When’s he coming home?” He bit his lip.

“Not till a while after you’ll be in bed, bud.”

“But… what if I have a nightmare?” Shaun’s mouth was sagging at the corners, lip pouting out.

“He’s not going to be gone all _night_ buddy!” Shepard scooched over to wrestle his son onto his lap, “And besides, you still got me too, right? Remember how I took care of you all the time when you were real small?” He tipped Shaun’s chin up and hoped his smile would rub-off.

“But… Daddy says not to wake you up… won’t…” he looked nervous, and Shepard felt his shoulders pulling up tense again.

“I _promise_ I won’t go to sleep until Daddy gets home, okay?” It was the right thing to say, the best Shepard could do. But he couldn’t figure out how Kaidan would’ve wrapped up the little talk

So they ended up watching the new episode of _Destiny and the Sword_. Shaun went to bed, Shepard offered to tuck him in, but Shaun had laughed off the idea and run upstairs. Kaidan would’ve said he shouldn’t have _offered_ , just done it.

They managed to keep Shaun’s bedtime consistent whenever they moved to the Citadel for a while: there was a pretty profound lag between Vancouver time and Citadel Standard time, and it was always best to get Shaun adjusted to that over a few days. But it affected Shepard too. Shaun had been in bed less than fifteen minutes when Shepard realized how tired he really was.

He’d been re-reading the same passage over and over again when he felt his eyes close. He shook himself awake, fixed himself some coffee. Kaidan would probably be home any time, but he couldn’t trust himself not to fall asleep. He’d made a promise.

As he slurped down to the dregs of his second cup, he heard Shaun’s voice from upstairs:

 _“Daddy?”_ It was a long, high pitched whine. Then a moment later: “ _Daddy?”_

“No one but Papa here still, buddy,” Shepard muttered already halfway up the stairs. Shaun was sitting up in his bed, his plush krogan doll clutched tight to his chest.

“Daddy?” He asked before Shepard stepped fully into the glow from the night-light.

“It’s me, buddy, what’s up?” Shepard stroked his son’s hair back, sitting down.

“I have a headache,” he murmured miserably. Of course he did.

An hour later, Shaun was curled up against Shepard’s chest, fast asleep. It had taken every breathing exercise Shepard knew, one or two story-books, quite a bit of shushing, and plenty of glasses of water. When the door to the apartment slid open—so quiet Shepard barely heard it—Shaun woke up immediately and resumed moaning.

“Daddy?”

“He’s home buddy, he’ll be up in a second.” Kaidan stroked the boy’s back. Shepard counted the stairs as Kaidan climbed them. He would check their bedroom first, wake Shepard up so that Shepard wouldn’t jump out of bed in fight-or-flight mode when he heard noises in his home. He’d lay down softly behind Shepard, one hand on his hip, kiss the back of his head gently, wait for Shepard to stir before saying his name so gently that Shepard would open his eyes smiling instead of flailing…

Kaidan appeared at the door to Shaun’s room, having found Shepard not in their bed. Shepard gave a little wave to indicate he wasn’t asleep, that he wasn’t sleeping like hair trigger with his son in his arms.

“Daddy?” Shaun turned in Shepard’s arms and reached out for the dad he _really_ wanted to see tonight.

“Thought you’d be asleep by now, babs!” Kaidan sat on the edge of the bed, letting Shaun scramble up into his lap and throw his arms around his neck. He glanced over at Shepard.

“Our son’s got a killer headache.” Shepard smiled, standing up and lightly squeezing Kaidan’s knee.

“A headache? Oh no!” Kaidan bounced Shaun once, and the boy nodded. “Where does it hurt?”

“Here.” Shaun pointed at his forehead indistinctly.

“Does your tummy hurt too?”

Shaun nodded, forlorn.

“And your eyes?”

Shaun nodded miserably.

“What about your big toe, does that hurt too?”

Shaun nodded, the very picture of suffering.

“Well the only thing for _that_ kind of a headache is a kiss and a good night’s sleep, babs!” Kaidan said, sober enough to sound reasonable, but with enough affection that it sounded like a cure, and not just medicine.

Shepard knew that voice pretty well.

Shaun nodded again, this time resolved, even smiling a little. Kaidan gave him a big kiss on the forehead and laid him back in bed. When he looked up at Shepard with his wide, teary eyes, Shepard gave him the softest kiss on his forehead he could manage.

“Goodnight, buddy. Thanks for spending the day with me.” He whispered so only Shaun could hear him.

He was asleep by the time Kaidan pulled the covers up, and Kaidan led Shepard out of the bedroom by the hand.

“Welcome home.” Shepard nuzzled up behind his husband when they were a little ways down the hall. Kaidan turned and gently pushed Shepard’s hips into the wall. “Long meeting?”

“Felt like it lasted forever.” When he turned his head and pressed his lips to Shepard’s, Shepard’s wrapped his arms around Kaidan’s neck. “How’d everything go around here?”

“It went okay.” Shepard sighed, smiling a little when Kaidan pulled at his bottom lip with another kiss, “Till the migraine.”

“Shaun doesn’t have a migraine,” he murmured against Shepard’s throat, kissing a hot trail along the tense cords that ran up behind Shepard’s ear.

“I figured. But I don’t know the first thing about migraines. He just… wants you. Makes him feel close to you.” Shepard was now letting Kaidan’s arm around his waist practically hold him up, what weight wasn’t already born by leaning against the wall. His head lolled to the side when Kaidan’s throaty chuckle spread warm air against his clavicle.

“He loves attention,” Kaidan winced when their stubble rubbed together, continued to nibble at Shepard’s jaw, “Especially from you.”

“I don’t want him to feel like he has to… make me proud or get attention from me.” It was hard to say, more than a little because he was trying to wriggle his mouth away from Kaidan’s to articulate the words.

“He loves you, Shepard.” Kaidan cupped his face, running a thumb across the shine on Shepard’s lip, “he sees how much my migraines get you worried, so when he wants a little extra attention after bedtime…” He shrugged, pulled his body tighter into Shepard’s.

“…he asked me about the ‘Big Accident’ tonight.” Shepard leaned his forehead on Kaidan’s

“The what?”

“The… that’s what you called my… uhhm, my… the thing with the cybernetics… because of the…” Even he and Kaidan hadn’t spoken the actual term in over a year.

“Oh, god. Yeah.” He rested a hand over Shepard’s heartbeat, maybe just a gesture, maybe to see if it was racing. Either way, it felt good.

“Yeah,” Shepard continued, “I was telling him about how I used to take care of him. Used to take him swimming.” He sighed and let his fingers twist into Kaidan’s hair, let his nose gently graze his husband’s cheek. “I shouldn’t have told Salix she had the night off. He would’ve had a lot more fun with her and Reega over

“Hey,” Kaidan lifted his chin, thick eyebrows knit together, “don’t. Okay? Just don’t. He _loves_ you. He was _so_ excited about spending time with you. It was all he talked about whenever you left the room. He just doesn’t know how to tell _you_ that.”

“Well, I’m still figuring out things with him too.” Shepard tried to smile. Kaidan seemed to always be able to see the effort, even if nothing came of it.

“Remember how long it took _us_ to figure each other out?” He pressed a wry smile against Shepard’s lips. “I’m proud of you,” he whispered at last, “you’re a good father, Shepard.”

“Thanks,” Shepard breathed after a deep and drawn-out kiss, pressing his hips up into Kaidan’s, “Still, I’m glad you’re here.” And it was true, about handling Shaun alone for a night, about everything since the beginning. During his recovery, and then his _second_ recovery after the ‘Big Accident’, he had felt like he was drowning. But Kaidan always held him up, even when he was leaning on him, dead-weight tired. He might as well be floating.

Kaidan’s thumbs were hooked around the waist band of his pants, pulling them down over Shepard’s ass, hands trailing after. Shepard could feel Kaidan’s hot sigh against his ear when his husband pulled him in.

“Are these my yoga pants?” He wore a feral grin.

“Yeah, had to borrow your swimming trunks earlier too.” Shepard’s voice hitched when Kaidan squeezed him.

“You look good in them. Far as I’m concerned,” Kaidan scooched down Shepard’s body to stop the pants from sliding all the way down to the floor, “these pants belong to you now.”

Shepard chuckled and the sound seemed to melt Kaidan’s predatory expression for a moment. But by the time they were breathless from kissing again, it had had returned.

“Mm, you’ve had a long day.” Shepard nipped at the cleft in Kaidan’s chin, “You want to sleep? Or…?”

Kaidan laughed. “We’ll see what happens. Either way, how about we go to the bedroom and you help me get out of this suit? Maybe a bath? Swimming trunks optional?”

That sounded like a better idea. Tired as he was, one way or another he’d be falling asleep in Kaidan’s arms tonight. In the tub. In bed. Didn’t matter.

He didn’t feel like a good husband, or a good father. But he didn’t feel like he was drowning these days, either.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Fluffy. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you got a little something out of it, even if it was... sugary as all get out.


End file.
